The View from the Other Side of the Pew

It’s been a minute since I served on a church staff. When I was seventeen I made a decision at a church camp that put me on a trajectory for Bible college and then grad school at a seminary. It also put me in a pipeline for ministry positions. I’ve worked at churches in Illinois, Tennessee, and Kentucky.

The last time I was full-time on staff at a church was over fifteen years ago. It’s far enough away that it’s sometimes a little difficult to remember what it felt like, to be honest. Having stood on both sides of the pew, I thought I might offer a few observations that could be helpful for vocational pastors and regular church folk alike. I’ve been both.

For Regular Church Folk:

Pastors who take their calling seriously carry a lot of weight. However, for some, it can be the sort of of job with little accountability and a lack of objective measures for progress, that it becomes an easy place to be lazy, hide out, and coast by. I’ve known more than a few who qualify. But for pastors who put their hearts in it, and I’ve known a few, it’s certainly a difficult job and a labor of love.

My friend Rob Rosenbaum who leads Fairfield West Baptist Church in Cincinnati comes to mind, as he has spent a couple decades there serving his community as a chaplain for the fire department in addition to leading the church. In my humble but accurate opinion, they don’t get much better than Rob. If your pastor is like that, do all you can to support and encourage them.

Serve God, not your pastor. For those of you who have pastors whose hearts are fully immersed in serving their communities, love and encourage them but don’t idolize them. That can add a crushing weight to an already difficult role. Keep in mind they are human just like you. On occasion, they have bad days, bad breath, doubts, sin struggles, and the need for a good ole fashioned attitude adjustment. Give them enough space and grace to be human.

Be a friend to your pastor. Pastors and their families are often lonely. Spouses of pastors can feel like they’re on display 24/7. Pastor’s kids, affectionately known as PKs, can buckle under unfair expectations. Your pastor may have learned to keep people at arm’s length out of necessity, but make every effort you can to let them know you care. Even if you are unable to be their friend, you can still be friendly on every occasion.

Don’t shop around with churches, if at all possible. I’ve been a member of two churches in the last twenty-five years, one in Kentucky and one in Ohio. Have there been decisions I’ve disagreed with? Sure. Do I like everything at the churches of which I’ve been a member? Nope. But there’s something worth sticking around for.

I’ve changed my employer far more than I’ve changed churches, mostly because I think my commitment to a faith community is far more important than who signs my paycheck. The relationships you are forming in your church are worth far more than the inconveniences you experience with unmet expectations or decisions with which you disagree. While there is a point where you might need to change churches, don’t take that decision lightly or make it prematurely.

For Ministry Leaders:

Don’t exalt yourself. It will be difficult enough to keep people from putting you on a pedestal. Don’t add to the challenge.

I recently had a friendly exchange on social media with a professor who posted about how being a pastor is the hardest job in the world. I wouldn’t have challenged it if it came from someone serving in Ukraine or the DRC. But having spent plenty of time around posh seminary offices in America that often come with perks like compensated part-time church roles, I couldn’t let it go.

Did the Apostles who died for their commitment to sharing the truth have it hard? Yes. Just a news flash, pastoring in the Bible belt isn’t the same thing. Dear pastor/professor: you’re not the Apostle Paul. Paul, the tent-builder who worked a trade to support his ministry, who was beaten and imprisoned, who died as a martyr, he had a tough job. That’s a severe understatement. To say pastoring in America is the hardest job in the world is a gross overstatement.

Dear pastors: you have church members who show up as often as you do on top of working over fifty hours a week outside the church building. Don’t talk about how your job is so hard when you have public servants who risk their lives, underpaid school teachers who stayed up late grading papers and organizing classroom supplies they bought themselves, and local farmers with undone tasks lingering in their minds like the grit that’s clinging to their fingernails, sitting right in front of you. Just don’t. They love and trust you. Honor them.

The pastors I know who work the hardest don’t brag about it. The one’s who do, don’t. You’ll get that if you read it more than once. Play it back.

You’ll have church members like my brother who spent his military career with multiple deployments who won’t resonate with your need for a sabbatical. Other than pastors and professors, who is a candidate for such things? You’ll have  people like my aunt who has spent her life in social work who can match your “people fatigue” ten to one. Don’t make it sound like your counseling sessions in your church office are superior to what she does day in and day out.

You’ll have church members who put in as much or more than you without taking an extra day off a week. In fact, they take their day off to serve in the church. Honor and appreciate that.

They do it out of love for God and others. While pastors might be held to a higher standard, the backbone of the church, those women and men who are doing all they can to manage a full-time job, full-time family, who volunteer their time to lead and serve in the church, those folks are worthy of double honor. Don’t disrespect that.

Don’t downgrade the priesthood of the believer.

For those who might not know, the priesthood of the believer is the belief that every Christian shares in the role of the priest. Every Christian has direct access to God without needing a professional minister to advocate for them. That doesn’t mean they don’t need support and guidance. But don’t overstep your place or create an illusion that you are irreplaceable because of your calling or work ethic. Only God is irreplaceable.

We’re all in this together, pastors and regular church folk alike. Life can be hard and confusing at times. We’ve been placed together in the church to comfort each other and remind one another of better things ahead (Hebrews 10:25). We all have gifts to use, to encourage each other. And no one is more important than anyone else. Let’s do it all out of love (1 Corinthians 13).